For the past several days I’ve been hard at work: 1) doing my laundry (about three weeks worth of dirty clothes), and 2) cleaning and reorganizing my room.
Of course, I have an excuse for the first: I’ve been very busy setting up my blogs & sites, so that I can come back to blogging. And for the second, well, it’s something I don’t do very often. You see, our house is beside the road, and my room overlooks the street, and so dust (and noise!) have always been my enemies from time immemorial. It takes a lot of willpower, energy, and time to do a general cleaning, and being a man, such chores have always been low in my priorities :)
And like I said, I’m also reorganizing my things, not just cleaning. I’m choosing what I’ll need for the next few years or so, and storing the rest away, especially my books. And I’m doing that because my path is laid down before me: For the next several years, all my efforts will be focused on rebuilding and settling my life, on studying and preparing myself even more for serving God, and on writing for my present blogs, Swordsman Network and Swordsman Beginnings. (Though I’m sorry it has to be this way, I am nevertheless determined to continue suspending all my other works for blogging, at least until I’ve done enough studying and have the necessary resources.)
And then, when I’m done with cleaning and reorganizing, I’m going to try again to reestablish my exercise habits. Biking. And taking long walks. Sadly, because of my struggles in building my ministry, and because of this COVID-19 pandemic, I’ve been neglecting these important things for quite some time now. As a result, I’ve gained extra weight (again), and I’m not as healthy as I should be. But it’s imperative now that I take a much better care of myself; I’m not getting any younger (I’ll be 38 soon), and I need to be in shape to be able to do God’s work more effectively.
Yes, I know. These are mundane topics I’m talking about, but they are part of my efforts to rise up again and start anew. And dealing with these things, mundane though they may be, does feel like I’m shedding a lot of emotional and spiritual weights from my shoulders.
Because by this act I’m declaring, even if only to myself, that I’m now leaving the past several years behind — all the pains, sufferings, and regrets — and all the might have beens, and the chances that were denied — and I’m relegating them all to the darkness of fading memories. Soon to be part of my distant past. And never to affect me again except as valuable lessons learned and inspiration sources for my writing.
Except for the blessings, of course. Those I’m taking with me.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Recently I’ve written about God’s faithfulness. And I was not just all talk, for this attribute of God is the very reason why I’m moving on — and with expectation and hope in my steps.
I’ve done all I could, and I’ve tried to do my best in regards to the things God wants me to do, especially my blogging ministry. I know that my performance wasn’t perfect; perhaps I could have done more, or better. However, God doesn’t expect perfection from me (in fact, his strength is glorified in my weakness), and so I know that I’m blameless.
Some people might think otherwise though. Some people might even say, with some of the things I’ve done, that I was not being Christlike, or worse, that I was being influenced by the devil. But these things I have expected. It’s part of the cost of speaking the truth. And God is my judge, not them.
All I can say about that is… perhaps they have conveniently forgotten the Old Testament prophets who lambasted the evil rulers of Israel… or Jesus himself, who angrily confronted and proclaimed woes to the unrepentant cities and hypocritical religious leaders. It’s easy to talk and preach about sin, and the judgment and justice of God, except when they hit you close to home and are staring you in the face.
Anyway, I know that I’ve been faithful to God, and so I expect his blessings. I know that he won’t let me down.
My friends, from now on I’ll be sharing with you Christian songs that I hope will help you know God more. The first one is Through It All by Hillsong. It is my favorite Christian song of all time. I never get tired listening to it. And even after all these years, it’s still the number one song in my playlist. And do you why, my friends? It’s because of its subject: the faithfulness of God.